Friday, November 20, 2009

Dear Universe,

Thanks for listening! I got an email today for an interview at the job I really, really want! Unemployment sucks. You were probably withholding jobs from me for a long time because I had some serious payback to deal with. I guess I understand that. I did spend a lot of time horribly embittered with you after I lost my last job (along with roughly 100 other people.) Most of them have managed to find gainful employment since, but they probably didn't ride your ass as hard as I did, universe. So for what it's worth, I'm sorry. For now, I'm going to take this interview as a sign that perhaps you're not so sore with me anymore.


p.s. If you actually GET me the job, I'll reconsider trying to find you a pony. Pony shortage or not, you'll deserve it. Maybe a little one like this:

That's actually not a pony, though. It's a miniature horse. But he's really cute! You'll also have to wait for a little while after you get me the job, because I'll have to save up some money.  Just so you know.  Actually, now that I think about it, you probably don't even want a pony.  You're the universe.  Let's face it - you can have all the ponies you want.  Let's talk terms and maybe I can do something else to appease you.  It'd be awesome if me buying a really nice handbag would make you happy.  Let me know if that works for you.


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