Friday, April 22, 2011

On Random Events

This evening, I ventured home from the house of some friends of mine.  Since I was walking home alone and hate to be left to the devices of my own brain, I plugged myself into my iPod, put it on random, and went on my merry way.

Crossing Davie Street, I came across a gentleman standing on the opposite side of the road.  Frantically waving at me, he coerced me out of my walking-home stupor.  I figured he'd be asking for directions.

Gentleman:  Did you see what I did just then?

Me:  <pulls off headphones; last song playing on random was Alejandro by Lady Gaga>  Maybe?  I dunno.  What did you do?

Gentleman:  I got the light to change for you, just so you could come across the street and meet me.  All night I knew I would meet a gorgeous woman, and there you were.

Me: Oh.  Well, thanks for that, I guess.

Gentleman:  My name is Alejandro.

Me:  You're shitting me.

Gentleman:  Um.... no?

Me:  I have to go home now.  Like, NOW.

<end scene>

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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Chicken Whisperer

Two of my favourite things – MGG and chickens.  That makes this the best Tuesday video ever.

Thanks go out to the ubiquitous Dan Pratt for always knowing just what I like.

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Monday, April 11, 2011

The Happiest Penguin

This video is old news, but it’s my workplace stress reliever and has probably prevented a large number of homicides.

Robynn:  “OMG, I am going to put my face directly through my monitor.”

Coworkers:  “Go watch your penguin.”

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Sunday, April 10, 2011

The Happiest Weiner

Saturday, April 9, 2011

On My Uncharacteristically Maudlin Facebook Status

It all goes back to this:

Your radius isn't supposed to tilt back like that.  The far right photo illustrates it the most pronouncedly.

The story?  Several years ago I was launched off a horse and broke both bones in my left forearm just above the wrist. (A Colles' fracture.)  I was first suited up with a plaster cast, which was to be changed to a fiberglass one once the swelling went down.  The appointment to change it was booked arbitrarily for two weeks from the date it was broken.  My orthopedic specialist told me that the moment my cast became loose, I was to come in and have it changed early.  It did after one week.  I called the hospital to book an appointment.  My doctor was on vacation.  I was told that there was nothing they could do since he wouldn't be back until just prior to my appointment, and, not knowing any better since it was the first broken bone(s) I ever had, I didn't fight it.  Hospitals should know best, shouldn't they?

Well, I waited the extra week until my doctor was back from sunny <insert tropical place name here>.  I went to my appointment, he removed my plaster cast, and did some x-rays to see how things were coming along.  Not well, apparently.  Since my cast had become loose, my bones had shifted and were no longer set properly.  And, since they'd already started to knit, they'd have to stay that way.

I wasn't aware at the time that this would cause the cornucopia of problems I've had since.  I've got chronic Carpal Tunnel Syndrome since my carpal tunnel has essentially been obliterated by the misalignment of my arm.  Rotating my arm creates all kinds of nauseating snaps, crackles, and pops.  While I used to enjoy playing the guitar, I can now play for approximately 5 minutes before my left hand goes to pins and needles or loses its feeling entirely.  Anything that requires me to hold my weight on my left hand is impossible.  Random numbness and/or tingling can happen at any time, seemingly unprovoked.  Every couple of days I'll wake up and have to pop the joint back into articulation.  Long story short, no fun at all.

I also dance - I have for my entire life, with the exception of a hiatus between 2008 and a month or two ago.  For the first time last night, I caught a close-up view of my arm in 5th position and was mortified.

Take a look at my properly functioning right arm.

Nice smooth and rounded line, hey? Now, let's take a look at my left.

Wait a minute... that doesn't look so bad.  But that's en face.  What happens if I turn ever so slightly?

Jeezus!  What the freaking hell IS that thing?  Gah!

Anyways, that was the longest explanation ever for one of the stupidest status updates ever.  Am I going to stop dancing?  No.  But I *am* going to be a little more self-conscious from now on.


Posted via email from the marvelous world of robynn holmström