Saturday, December 31, 2011

On 2012, &c.

Been a long time since I've posted; been a long time since I cared to post.  I'm not going to go into a phenomenal amount of detail here, because anyone who needs to know my sordid bits already does, and nobody needs to hear me complain as I'm sure you've all got your own gripes.

Summing it up, 2011 was one craptacular year.  From a failed marriage to failed health, it's been mostly a junkfest all around.  There were some highlights, however:

  • A fabulous trip to Vegas with my awesome BFF Dan, even though I had the demon flu the entire time we were there.
  • Making some new friends and getting closer to some old ones.
  • Not having to wear spectacles anymore, even though the recovery was something I wouldn't wish on my dearest enemy.
  • Plenty of Mexican food.
  • A nice long visit with my Mom and Dad in November, even though it was on wonky circumstances and we had to sit in the dark the entire time due to my healing eyeballs.
  • Cabin rave with Dutchie et al.
  • A trip back to Edmonton at the changing point of my life and having my sweetest and best friends around me to give me strength.

The rest of it, however, was by and large a load of horse puckey.

Not to worry, though - I've got big hopes for what 2012 may bring.  Frankly, anything at this stage is going to kick the spleen out of 2011.

Posted via email from the marvelous world of robynn ilashchuk

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Very Wise Was She

There was a girl - a very strange, enchanted girl
They say she wandered very far, very far, over land and sea
A little shy and sad of eye, but very wise was she
And then one day, a magic day she came my way
And while we spoke of many things, fools and kings, this she said to me:

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. 

Posted via email from the marvelous world of robynn holmström

Monday, October 17, 2011

The Soundtrack of my Life.... Lately

I've been a horrible absentee Baroness for a while.  Apologies.

It all started here:

And then this happened:

Cut to end scene:

And drive the nail in the coffin home:

And until whenever things are right again, I'm going to wish and pray for one more precious, sweet moment of this:


Posted via email from the marvelous world of robynn holmström

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Like sands through the hourglass....

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Albert's path is a strange and difficult one.

Day three of my David Lynch kick.  Albert Rosenfield and I are one and the same.  If you know me well, you'll see it.

The foundation of such a method is love.


Posted via email from the marvelous world of robynn holmström

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

'You're my man, Pete."

Sorry, kids.  On a David Lynch kick.  Bear with me.

Posted via email from the marvelous world of robynn holmström

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

And I'll see you in the branches that blow...

I had a demented morning.  Actually, it's been a bit of a weird week so far and it's only Tuesday.

I'm not feeling remarkably well, and haven't been since Saturday night - my suspicion is that I ate something that didn't agree with me.  In any case, food and I have been at distinct odds with one another for the past few days, and it's caused low energy, poor sleep, and a variety of screwed up dreams whenever I *do* get to sleep.

The screwed-up-edness has started working its way into my waking life as well.  Case in point, this morning.

I woke up, did all my regular morning-stuffs, and was on my way out the door, headphones around neck, when I noticed that my mascara was sitting on the counter.  I'm obsessive-compulsive, and that's not where it belongs.  It was also open.  Very atypical.  Upon closer inspection, I discovered that I'd only done one eye and looked like a ginger version of Alex from A Clockwork Orange on Casual Friday.  I went into the bathroom to fix myself, and had just finished up and was doing a quick once-over in the mirror to make sure there wasn't anything else crucial I'd forgotten (like pants) when my iPod decided to turn itself on without me knowing.  To this:

As one of the world's foremost Twin Peaks fans, it extra-weirded me out.

Logic:  "You woke up groggy from taking Gravol last night, and you're a little discombobulated this morning.  Stop being a freakin' weirdo and get thee to work."


My Brain:  "OMFG.  I'm Bob.  Crap.  Ohcrapohcrapohcrap.  How am I ever going to explain THIS one?"

And now back to your regularly scheduled program.


Posted via email from the marvelous world of robynn holmström

Thursday, June 2, 2011

In Other News, I'm Actually a Big Jerk

So as it happens, I jumped the gun and was a little hasty in my trademark Robynn™ response to the email of yesterday and am a total asshole.  Sometimes it helps if you read the second paragraph of things, or so it would seem.

Of course nobody would want, unless they were crazy.  Or infatuated with me for some reason.  Or chemically imbalanced.  Or something.  Maybe just because it's Thursday.  We don't know.

As it turns out, "Sandy" just wanted to exchange links.  My bad.  I'll read closer next time.

As an olive branch, here's some stuff about go karts.  (I still do, however, harbour all of my resentment toward them.  Being accident prone, close to the ground, and on wheels has distinct disadvantages.)


Posted via email from the marvelous world of robynn holmström

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Um, No.

Why in the hell would someone besides the one and only Robynn Holmström want

It will remain one of life's great mysteries.  I didn't hit send on the email because it's probably phishin' for something and let's face it - I'm not stupid.  And hey, if it's for real, I guess "Sandy" can read my reply on the domain she so desperately wants.

Hope you have some good bags, Sandy.  5 million in bullion weighs a lot.




Posted via email from the marvelous world of robynn holmström

Friday, April 22, 2011

On Random Events

This evening, I ventured home from the house of some friends of mine.  Since I was walking home alone and hate to be left to the devices of my own brain, I plugged myself into my iPod, put it on random, and went on my merry way.

Crossing Davie Street, I came across a gentleman standing on the opposite side of the road.  Frantically waving at me, he coerced me out of my walking-home stupor.  I figured he'd be asking for directions.

Gentleman:  Did you see what I did just then?

Me:  <pulls off headphones; last song playing on random was Alejandro by Lady Gaga>  Maybe?  I dunno.  What did you do?

Gentleman:  I got the light to change for you, just so you could come across the street and meet me.  All night I knew I would meet a gorgeous woman, and there you were.

Me: Oh.  Well, thanks for that, I guess.

Gentleman:  My name is Alejandro.

Me:  You're shitting me.

Gentleman:  Um.... no?

Me:  I have to go home now.  Like, NOW.

<end scene>

Posted via email from the marvelous world of robynn holmström

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The Chicken Whisperer

Two of my favourite things – MGG and chickens.  That makes this the best Tuesday video ever.

Thanks go out to the ubiquitous Dan Pratt for always knowing just what I like.

Posted via email from the marvelous world of robynn holmström

Monday, April 11, 2011

The Happiest Penguin

This video is old news, but it’s my workplace stress reliever and has probably prevented a large number of homicides.

Robynn:  “OMG, I am going to put my face directly through my monitor.”

Coworkers:  “Go watch your penguin.”

Posted via email from the marvelous world of robynn holmström

Saturday, April 9, 2011

On My Uncharacteristically Maudlin Facebook Status

It all goes back to this:

Your radius isn't supposed to tilt back like that.  The far right photo illustrates it the most pronouncedly.

The story?  Several years ago I was launched off a horse and broke both bones in my left forearm just above the wrist. (A Colles' fracture.)  I was first suited up with a plaster cast, which was to be changed to a fiberglass one once the swelling went down.  The appointment to change it was booked arbitrarily for two weeks from the date it was broken.  My orthopedic specialist told me that the moment my cast became loose, I was to come in and have it changed early.  It did after one week.  I called the hospital to book an appointment.  My doctor was on vacation.  I was told that there was nothing they could do since he wouldn't be back until just prior to my appointment, and, not knowing any better since it was the first broken bone(s) I ever had, I didn't fight it.  Hospitals should know best, shouldn't they?

Well, I waited the extra week until my doctor was back from sunny <insert tropical place name here>.  I went to my appointment, he removed my plaster cast, and did some x-rays to see how things were coming along.  Not well, apparently.  Since my cast had become loose, my bones had shifted and were no longer set properly.  And, since they'd already started to knit, they'd have to stay that way.

I wasn't aware at the time that this would cause the cornucopia of problems I've had since.  I've got chronic Carpal Tunnel Syndrome since my carpal tunnel has essentially been obliterated by the misalignment of my arm.  Rotating my arm creates all kinds of nauseating snaps, crackles, and pops.  While I used to enjoy playing the guitar, I can now play for approximately 5 minutes before my left hand goes to pins and needles or loses its feeling entirely.  Anything that requires me to hold my weight on my left hand is impossible.  Random numbness and/or tingling can happen at any time, seemingly unprovoked.  Every couple of days I'll wake up and have to pop the joint back into articulation.  Long story short, no fun at all.

I also dance - I have for my entire life, with the exception of a hiatus between 2008 and a month or two ago.  For the first time last night, I caught a close-up view of my arm in 5th position and was mortified.

Take a look at my properly functioning right arm.

Nice smooth and rounded line, hey? Now, let's take a look at my left.

Wait a minute... that doesn't look so bad.  But that's en face.  What happens if I turn ever so slightly?

Jeezus!  What the freaking hell IS that thing?  Gah!

Anyways, that was the longest explanation ever for one of the stupidest status updates ever.  Am I going to stop dancing?  No.  But I *am* going to be a little more self-conscious from now on.


Posted via email from the marvelous world of robynn holmström

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Our Anniversary is Coming Up...

... and my iPod reminded me this morning by playing all three of our first wedding dances in order while on random.

Our first dance:

Our second dance:

And finally the third:

Happy almost-four-years to The Husband.  ♥

Posted via email from the marvelous world of robynn holmström

Friday, February 11, 2011

Hey Mr. Tambourine Man...

… I’m going to hire you to follow me around and play your tambourine like that EVERYWHERE I GO.  I would never have a bad day again.

That is all.

No it’s not.  Your days off will include, but not be limited to every day I happen to have a hangover.

NOW that is all.

Posted via email from the marvelous world of robynn holmström