Wednesday, September 22, 2010

An Open Letter To Social Networking Attention Whores

My dearest darling Facebook friends, specifically of the female persuasion,

I've got a lot of you.  Now, considering that I like to surround myself with quality somewhere in the vicinity of equal to my own, a healthy proportion of you are pretty damned gorgeous.  However, there is a tremendous (and icky) class difference between people who are gorgeous and live their life happily and quietly basking in their goreousity, and and people who pull the "lookatmelookatmelookatme!" card.  Check out the following photo caption, and if it sounds anything like what you've captioned your photo with, stop it.  You sound *exactly* this ridiculous.


"Oh my god, I can't believe I even posted this.  I look SO fat.  Don't even look at it.  I have such a huge zit and my hair is a total mess.  I need botox and I'm so homely.  No wonder I can't find a boyfriend.  &c."

When I see you make comments like that, do you know what I think?  That you're a comment-hungry attention whore who needs someone to validate the fact that you're beautiful every second you're alive.  It's pretentious and unbecoming.  I know it sounds mean, but come on.  Everyone has good photos and bad photos.  If you don't like it, don't post it.  If someone else posted it, remove the tag. Give us all a break and stop fishing for compliments.  You drive me and everybody else bonkers.  Maybe the reason you can't get a boyfriend is because you're an asshole.  Just sayin'.

Love, Robynn

(Disclaimer:  Photo of Doutzen Kroes stolen randomly from the Googlyweb™ because I think she's pretty.  This message in no way implies that Doutzen Kroes is a comment-hungry-attention-whorish-asshole.  She may be a very nice person.  I wouldn't know.)


Posted via email from the marvelous world of robynn holmström

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