Note to Self 1

Dear Robynn,

Please remember sometime this week to replenish, replace, or dispose of things that are conspicuously missing from, are vastly outdated, or are inappropriately stocked in your medicine cabinet.  Please note (at least) the following:

1. The Rolaids expired two years before you moved to Vancouver.  That means 2004.

2. The bag of cough drops are all hopelessly stuck together (because Vancouver is humid) and you're going to need a minimum of a pickaxe to get them apart.

3. You should probably get rid of any medication of such questionable vintage that you don't even remember what it was for anymore or if it's even yours or something a previous tenant left in the suite when they moved out.

4. The bath bombs seem to have gone rancid (or whatever it is that bath bombs do when they look like something you forgot in a ditch for 6 months.  Again, let's blame the humidity.)

5. Find out what the heck the miscellaneous sparkly something-or-other of unknown origin is.

6. Your next flight is in 43 days.  You need Ativan to prevent your husband and the rest of the passengers from forcibly removing you from the aircraft mid-flight because you won't shut up about how "we're all gonna die."

6. It's time to finally say goodbye to your three packages of leftover birth control pills.  Your initial idea of slipping them into the drinks of girls at the pub who look like they could really use them, while somewhat practical, is probably completely unethical.

7. And get some new band-aids, would you?  It's a little embarrassing when you have to look all grownup and ladylike for a job interview and the only band-aids you have in the house are these:

Way to be an adult.  Oh well, at least they're not Dora the Explorer... or worse.

Love,
Robynn