Kicking Off the "Weekend of Criticism™" - Like Festivus; No Pole

Hi internet peeps,

In what may be a vain attempt to make myself feel better after the crappy day I had at the end of a crappy week at the end of a crappy month, I've decided to launch my first annual* "Weekend of Criticism™", brought to you by the people who shot the person who said, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."  This will be a fun-filled weekend of laughing at the expense of others and calling everything on the internet as I see it in real time.  Nobody is safe.  Not even you!

Let's start off with this dilly of a pickle that was the first thing I saw on Facebook when I got home:

For the love of <insert deity here>, why is "healthy" in brackets?!  What happens if we take it out entirely?  Watch out for seemingly foods?  Is that like a garden hose cleverly disguised as filet mignon?  Oh no!  Look out!  But wait.... "healthy" is in brackets.  That means the seemingly food should be actually good for you even though it's not really food.  Hm.  I know.  Look out for that... cow?  It's not quite food yet, but is kind of good for you in moderation or whatever.  (Screw moderation; meat is delicious.  It *is* made out of meat, you know.)

Regardless.  Brackets must go.  "Watch out for seemingly healthy foods that can actually increase abdominal fat."  There.  All fixed.  Bah!

*Note: May actually become semi-annual, monthly, or even bi-weekly "Weekend of Criticism™".  It depends on what kind of life I'm having and I don't want to limit myself to once a year quite yet.

Posted via email from the marvelous world of robynn holmström